Collected from internet

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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
 
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
 
WITNESS: Oral.

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
 
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like
to rephrase that?

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?
 
WITNESS: Yes.
 
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 
WITNESS: None.
 
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
 
WITNESS: Are you shitt’in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

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Lovely song by Simon and Garfunkel

Are you going to Scarborough Fair