ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: You’re kidding me, right!?

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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

***************************************************************************
 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!

**************************************************************************
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?

DOCTOR(Witness): No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

DOCTOR(Witness): No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

DOCTOR(Witness): No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?

DOCTOR(Witness): No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

DOCTOR(Witness): Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?

DOCTOR(Witness): Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

—————————————————————————————————————–

What a dumb job they get money for these questions.